We believe God created marriage as an opportunity for individuals to put into practice the command to "love one another as I have loved you." (John 13:34) However, sometimes achieving that goal can be difficult. When your marriage falls upon hard times, you may wish to turn to someone for help. Our pastors are available for counseling. Our church also has two licensed counselors with offices in the church building. In addition, for your own enrichment, you may wish to read one of the following resources to help you better love your spouse and enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling marriage.
Marriage & Relationship Books
The following are suggested by Pastor Mark & Connie Barz, Pastor Chris & Ashley Kennedy, and Pastor Greg & Jamie Truwe as reading following Marriage By God’s Design. Disclaimer: not every aspect of every book is consistent with orthodox Lutheran theology.
As For Me and My House – Walter Wangerin, Jr. Taking his title from Joshua 24:15b, Wangerin – a Lutheran pastor, writer, and professor – addresses the ‘tasks’ of marriage and encourages a couple at any age or stage of marriage to serve the Lord in and by their faithful commitment.
Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. One of the popular Boundaries series of books. Many people struggle with establishing appropriate boundaries in many of their relationships, and marriage is no different; marriage needs boundaries just like any other relationship.
Every Heart Restored by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey. A wife's guide to healing in the wake of a husband's sexual sin. [See the two books immediately below.]
Every Man’s Battle: Every Man’s Guide to Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time – Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey. Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, Every Man’s Battle shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity—perfect for men who have fallen in the past, those who want to remain strong today, and all who want to overcome temptation in the future.
Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment – Shannon Ethridge; afterword by Stephen Arterburn. The only way women can survive the intense struggle for sexual integrity is by guarding not just your body, but your mind and heart as well. Every Woman’s Battle can help you learn to do that. Using real-life stories and examples from her own struggle, Shannon Ethridge helps women like you – whether married, single, or planning to marry someday.
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts – Gary Chapman. Knowing your and your spouse’s ‘love language’ is an important step in how you respond to each other and how you receive the words and actions of your husband/wife.
for men only: a straightforward guide to the inner lives of women – Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn. Simple but important – and sometimes surprising – insights about women…and your wife is one of them. Caution: only for men! Let her read the book about you.
for women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men – Shaunti Feldhahn. Simple but important – and sometimes surprising – insights about men…and your husband is one of them. Caution: only for women! Let him read the book about you.
The Four Seasons of Marriage – Gary Chapman. All marriages have their ups and downs. A helpful book on weathering hard times and building on good times.
The Language of Love and Respect – Emerson Eggerichs. In this masterful follow-up to his best-selling book, Love & Respect, Eggerichs presents a practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other’s distinctly different language – respect for him, love for her.
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs – Emerson Eggerich. A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn't met, things get crazy.
The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick. This is the book that accompanies the movie Fireproof. (It’s a significant part of the plot-line if you haven’t see the movie.) Both challenging and practical.
Love Is A Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent. Proven techniques to keep your marriage alive and lively. The art of meaningful conversation. Energize your mate in 60 seconds. The surprising key to satisfying sex. The secret of a close-knit family.
Love Talk by Les & Leslie Parrott. The fruit of years of research by two foremost relationship experts (who also happen to be husband and wife), this book forges a new path to the heart of loving conversation. You begin by identifying your security need and determining your personal communication style…then you'll put together everything you discover to learn how the two of you can speak each other's language like never before.
Men Are like Waffles, Women Are like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences by Bill & Pam Farrel. A humorous look at the differences in genders. The waffle and spaghetti analogies helps make sense of some of the basic differences.
Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity – Lauren Winner. Begun by a woman when she was single; finished after she married. This book is not only for those who are outside of marriage, but for all who wish to affirm God’s gifts of sexuality and community.
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John M. Gottman. This is required reading for a seminary counseling class, but it’s written in easy-to-understand language and breaks down the material into logical categories.
Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage – Kevin Leman. Ideas and suggestions for celebrating and renewing your God-given sexual relationship; just as appropriate for those newly married as for those well into their marriages.
United in Christ: Preparing for Christian Marriage – Scott Stiegemeyer. A practical guidebook for those considering or engaged to be married. A wonderful gift for a child or a grandchild! [One of the recent new Milestones seres from Concordia Publishing House.]
Marriage & Relationship Websites
Focus on the Family – This organization is committed to “Helping Families Thrive”: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/
James Dobson– A new ministry of this long-time advocate for healthy, Christ-centered marriage and parenting: http://www.myfamilytalk.com/
Marriage Partnership – Articles and resources through ‘Kyria’ from Christianity Today magazine: http://www.kyria.com/topics/marriagefamily/